Disciple over Discipline
For years I labeled myself undisciplined. I couldn’t seem to exercise with any consistency at all. My diet was whatever food was convenient. My house appeared clean, but it really was a well-played illusion. I’m ashamed to admit I’m bad about changing my sheets every week, and washing my face every night. For the majority of my 50 some odd years, having a regular quiet time was hit and miss with a distinct lean toward a miss. I figured it was the bane of my existence, being undisciplined. I concluded that being disciplined was out of my wheelhouse.
I put on a happy face about my limitation. I laughed it off, or mentioned that I was “more creative” or “I thrive on being fun!” They are true statements and they covered up what I perceived to be a major point of failure in my life. After all, successful people, people who are winners, are disciplined. Right? I beat myself up, and figured God could never use me in a powerful way. I spoke lies to myself. I called myself a bad Christian. I put silent pressure on myself to match up to some standard that was written nowhere but in my own mind.
I’m often intrigued by the fact that the word disciple is hidden in the word discipline. To me, the word disciple speaks of learning and growing, of failing and relearning, of discovering new ideas and erasing old concepts. It doesn’t scare me like the word discipline. So I’ve learned to change my perspective. I’m a disciple and I’m learning. I’m learning of my desperate need for Jesus. I’m learning that when I focus on listening to His voice, I become more aware of how He is moving in my life. I’m learning to give myself grace when life interferes with what I think is the ideal. I’m learning to not be concerned about checking items off a spiritual to-do list, but to engage in a journey with the One who created me and loves me more than I can fathom.
I am continually learning the truth of Proverbs 4:21 and 22. “Fill your thoughts with my words until they penetrate deep within your spirit. They will impart true life and radiant health into the very core of your being.” (The Passion Translation) Throughout my journey I’ve learned a variety of ways to fill my thoughts with God’s Word.
- First of all, I journal; I actually journal a lot! I write which scriptures, phrases and ideas jump out to me as I have my quiet time. I jot down questions or fresh insights from the Holy Spirit. I often look up passages in various translations and write down the differences I notice. I make a point to identify each day how the scripture passage I read applies to the events and responsibilities on my schedule. My journaling is my response to how God’s Word is speaking to my heart and my need.
- Secondly I write verses on 3×5 cards that I recognize I need to remember for the day or for a circumstance I am facing. I often carry the verse in my pocket as a reminder, or I set it up wherever I am working: by my computer, propped up in the kitchen, or used as a bookmark while I read.
- Third, I write out my prayers. Some people may consider it journaling, but I’m actually writing out the very words my heart is speaking to God. I write out my requests, and concerns. I list the names of people I know with needs. I pour out my struggles and beg for wisdom. And I write what my heart hears God saying and my response back. This helps me stay focused as I talk with the Lord.
- Lastly I set reminders on my phone to stop what I’m doing and check in with Jesus throughout the day. I check a brief devotional on an app, or I take a moment to breathe out a prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to speak into my immediate circumstance. I’m setting myself up to connect with Christ continually because I am His disciple.
Discipline looks different on different people because God created each of us to be unique disciples. He calls us to look at Him (not everyone else!) and follow. We begin by filling our thoughts with His Word; rest in the assurance that they will bring true life.
