There Once Was a Spider….
There was spider on the sliding door out to our deck the other night while I was making dinner. He caught me off guard, and freaked the living daylights out of me. I had walked over toward the door to get into a cupboard and Sam, my dog acted as if he’d like to go out. I started to slide the door open when I saw him. He was creepy. I began to realize if I slid the door wide enough for my dog to go outside, the spider could drop off the glass and be in my house.
I have an odd fear of spiders. For some odd reason, I fear they will jump on my face, grow instantly to a ginormous size and kill me. It doesn’t make any difference how many times I tell myself that’s an insane idea. It doesn’t matter that I’m definitely bigger than the small crawly thing and can crush it with my shoe. It didn’t seem to matter much last night that there was a barrier between me and that. . . thing. I closed the door. I stepped away. I took my dog to another door to see if he really had to go out. And then I finished making dinner with one eye on that monster just waiting to creep all over me. When my sweet husband came home, he rescued me and gained the title of Hero in my eyes and heart.
As I made dinner and tried to fight my irrational fear, God spoke to my heart. He didn’t try to defend his tiny creation. I think my whole spider phobia makes Him chuckle a bit and roll his parental eyes. Instead God began to ask me questions about other fears in my life. Fear has become an issue that I have been battling, and thankfully God is confirming strength and confidence within me. And yet, Fear had begun to wiggle into my thought processes again, and God knew He needed to squelch it.
God is so gracious and patient. God reminds me again and again that He is more than able to “accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20 NLT) This morning God affirmed and strengthened me in my battle against fear for I found myself comparing myself to someone else and fearing that I was “less than.” Romans 5:3-5 says, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” (NLT) Fear is just a problem, a conflict that I need to lay before my Lord and allow Him to develop endurance within me. Fear is a trial that is teaching me that God created me, loves me (dearly Romans says!) and delights in me. Fear does not dictate who I am, nor who I belong to. Fear doesn’t change the truth that I have been saved and have a confident hope in my salvation. Fear can’t remove God’s Holy Spirit from my life. Fear is an emotional reaction and my God is always bigger.
I still don’t like spiders. I will find someone to rescue me every time one crosses my path if I can. And I am conquering fear, the every day kind, the kind that paralyzes you and keeps you from living the life God desires. As I child of the King, I align myself with the Israelites, God’s children, and claim a promise made to them in Isaiah 41:9,10 “I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying, ‘You are my servant.’ For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (NLT)
All honor and glory to the King of Glory, for He is accomplishing infinitely more inside of me. Amen and amen.
