In the Ebb

Life ebbs and flows. We all have good days and bad days. I have skinny days and chubby days. Some have productive days and lazy days. Others have painful days and pain-free days. It’s the nature of things; it keeps the process interesting. Bad days enable us to appreciate the good days more. My chubby days teach me what is necessary to enjoy more skinny days. Lazy days recharge batteries so that productive days are even more productive. God even planned an “ebb”day, Sabbath, into the flow of a week! So why is it, when the ebb times come, do I tend to do a little whining, a bit of panicking, and a touch of moping?
I had an “ebb”moment just this morning as I sat having coffee with Jesus. We had our usual discussion over a passage of scripture, we touched on our Psalm of the week, and we read a  brief chapter together from a book our church is reading through as a congregation. Then, as is my habit, I go back over the notes I’ve made and listen for the Holy Spirit to help me connect the dots, emphasize a new truth, give me a nugget to focus on during the day. It’s not that God was silent, He wasn’t. God had revealed Himself in His Word, there were new thoughts, new ways of looking at familiar ideas. There just wasn’t that rush of awe because a spiritual light bulb had been flipped on. Not even a tiny whoosh. I began to wonder: Did I come to Jesus with a bad attitude today? Am I just going through the motions? Have I allowed something in my life that has caused my passion to wane? Am I truly seeking truth, peace, joy, and God’s purposes in my life?
God reassured me that I hadn’t gone off the deep end. He revealed small areas that need to be tweaked so that I am more about Him than about me (a common discussion theme over coffee). He whispered these tender words to me: “Just be with me today. Just sit and enjoy these moments. There’s no need for an ‘a-ha’ today. I want to be with you, just be with me.”
Even as I write those words for this blog, the truth of that love whisper overwhelms me. God loves me so much, He gives me an “ebb day.” A day to soak in again what I already know to be true. A day to step off the Crazy Train of productivity and expectations and just be: be honest with God about what’s really going on with me; be real about what I need and don’t need; be humble and submissive to who God is and not just what I perceive I am to do.
I wish I had the ability to describe the glory and peace that is thick in my living room. The room visually looks the same, yet every item is gently different. The pillow that says “Smile” tinkles with an angel’s giggle. The pumpkin-scented candle that flickers floods the room with a unique holy aroma. The empty chair next to me is no longer empty – a tender face with twinkling eyes smiles at me with pure delight. The decor I had set out yesterday to celebrate Autumn seems to resonate with every picture and image of Fall I have ever seen. The cross-stitch on the wall of a beloved hymn bursts forth with sounds only my heart can hear. It’s marvelous and miraculous. God is here,
My heart overflows with qratitude, because even in the ebb, perhaps especially in the ebb, God is present. And that’s how life should flow.