No Fear.

I’m afraid of spiders.  I’m also afraid of swinging bridges, the big drops on roller coasters, wearing a bikini, selling things door to door, and snakes. Definitely snakes.  I’m not afraid of speaking in public, going to a new city, or bears in the woods, but that last one is probably because I’ve never encountered a bear in the woods.  When my children were little, we went to Yellowstone and I was very afraid my young adventurous son would fall into a hot springs. When he was much older we vacationed at Bryce Canyon in Southern Utah.  That sweet lad, knowing I had this tremor of fear where he was concerned, would go to every look-out point and hang over the railing.  I had to turn away —  Every. Single. Time.
I don’t generally  qualify myself as fearful.  I’m usually blissfully unaware and happy to stay in my peaceful little perception of things.  It just makes life simpler, easier.  Recently though I’ve become more aware of my tremblings that hide deep beneath my surface.  It all began with a nasty black ice experience.  I was fine during and immediately following the actual accident. Getting back into the car and driving long distances didn’t send me into a fearful state.  Driving through questionable weather conditions gave me some concern, but driving with more caution then my typical pedal to the metal style alleviated my dilemma.  When my husband had to drive through questionable weather conditions, and I was home alone — that’s when those tremblings surfaced and I came face to face with fear.  I realized on that particular afternoon that I was afraid of what my life would be like if he was all of a sudden gone.  I was afraid of what my life would be like if my husband became different then how I knew him; if he was changed physically, mentally or emotionally.   I realized I was afraid of having to bear the majority of the responsibility, of being the one to make decisions — of being alone.
I have read those verses that say “don’t be afraid.”  They have made sense to me in a totally intellectual sort of way.  They have never been verses I tended to memorize or write on 3×5 cards to place where I will always see.  I haven’t felt as if I had a fear problem.  I love how faithful God is, because just as I began to see the level of fear I was denying in myself, God was revealing truth from His Word.
I had been reading in Ephesians and I was spending time in Ephesians 6 where Paul talks about the Armour of God.  The New Century Version for verse 15 reads like this:  “On your feet wear the good news of peace to help you stand strong.”  It’s not one of those “do not be afraid” verses but God reminded me of a couple of things.
First of all, the Holy Spirit reminded me that God’s good news of peace is to be foundational to my every day life. The truth that God sent His Son to pay the penalty for my sin brings me to a position of peace with God.  I can have a relationship with the Creator and controller of the Universe. This fact alone, that I’ve got a Really Big God on my side, every single day, should emblazon me to live life on the edge!  I am guaranteed eternal life! I am promised provision, wisdom, righteousness and unconditional love!
Secondly this peace is to help me stand strong.  God’s peace is stabilizing — just like the hiking boots I purchased after a bad sprained ankle.  God’s peace strengthens where I am weak and enables me to go where I need to go. Regardless of where I walk, no matter the circumstances I may journey through, the truth that God will go to great lengths to give me peace instills within me confidence and assurance that this all powerful, all seeing, all knowing God is in control and on my side.  God always wins and I’m wearing his hiking boots.
I was discussing this idea of God meeting me in my fear with a friend today at lunch.  I told her that I was learning that regardless of what may happen in life, I was choosing to believe God is good, even in the face of fear.  She wisely said, “and that whatever He chooses is good.”  She is right.  God may choose to allow me to journey through circumstances that I wouldn’t label as good.  And yet, God IS good, and He always has a plan that is for my best. If life was always perfect, we wouldn’t need armor, now would we?  1 John 4:18 says, “…perfect love drives out fear…”  God loves me perfectly. I can trust Him and His goodness.  I just need to put on my holy hiking boots and allow His peace to stabilize me.  No fear.  Just Jesus.