My daughter is getting married.  I’ve said the phrase, I’ve thought the phrase, I LIVE with the phrase since my days are filled with lists of wedding things to do.  But typing the phrase, letting the phrase truly sink in, is a different story.

When my sweet girl was a baby I would rock her and sing to her.  I most often sang “Jesus Loves Me” and “Oh How He Loves You and Me.” Sunday morning, in church, we sang “Oh How He Loves You and Me.”  I cried.  It wasn’t a bad cry, it was just the idea that my daughter is getting married was sinking in a wee bit more.

As I sit here and type out these words, it sinks in a tad deeper.  My emotions well up and I become nostalgic. A part of me wants to jump in my car, race to where she works, kidnap her and spend the day spoiling her and cramming my heart and mind full of memories to pull out and comfort me on a later day.  She’d like the whole spoiling part, but I can’t do it.  Not because I’m too busy (though I am) or can’t afford it (which I probably can’t) but because I know I need to force myself to loosen my heart’s grip just a little bit more.

I’m happy for her.  I’m excited for her.  Her fiance’ is a wonderful, marvelous, Godly young man.  He is a great fit for her, and I trust him implicitly with her.  None of my emotions come from a negative point of view. They just come…. because.

Because she’s not really MY little girl any more.
Because I have to share her more
Because where I live really isn’t home for her anymore.
Because her heart really belongs to someone else.
Because my life is a little quieter, a little emptier.
Because she won’t be as available to just hang out on those “extra days.”
Because she’s creating her own family, away from me.
Because I become more on the “outside” of her life.
Because she will create more and more memories where I’m not involved.
Because, because, because….

Growing up is hard.  My growing up, and her growing up.  It’s all good.  It’s what I want for her, have dreamed for her, and would never want to keep from her.  And some days, it’s just hard.

My daughter is getting  married, but my son still lives at home…