A Spiritual Journey of Love: Childhood Faith to Transformed Believer
Some of you are new around here, and you may not know much about me. I thought I would share a bit of my story. Allow me to begin with the basics.
My Childhood
I am the youngest of five children. My dad was a pastor; my mom was a nurse who as I got older became a hospital administrator. I accepted Jesus as my Savior as a young child in children’s church. Mrs. Entz led me to Jesus, and I thought she was amazing.
I was a smart and imaginative child. I loved to create stories and act them out in play. For example, a friend from down the street and myself often played spies. I excelled at school and enjoyed writing poetry. More than anything, I just wanted to have fun.
I was a smart and imaginative child. I loved to create stories and act them out in play. For example, a friend from down the street and myself often played spies. I excelled at school and enjoyed writing poetry. More than anything, I just wanted to have fun.
Teenage Years
I began playing the saxophone when I was in the fourth grade. By the time I reached high school I played in the marching band, concert band, and jazz band. In addition, I was highly involved in drama, and I filled my schedule with honors classes.
Many people who grew up in the church may have had a similar faith story to mine. I didn’t reject Jesus. However, I didn’t follow Him closely either. I survived high school without any major spiritual scars and graduated in the top ten people of my class.
College Years
Next, I went to Northwest Nazarene College in Nampa, Idaho. My goal was to major in speech communications and then join a traveling Christian drama troupe. While in college, I worked in the cafeteria.
One semester I made cookies, and I didn’t like that job at all. Each afternoon I was scheduled, I worked entirely alone. No music, no companionship, just me and a really big mixer. To keep myself sane, I sang to myself. And since I grew up in the church, the songs most familiar to me were Sunday school songs, and hymns. In the midst of singing those songs, Jesus became real to me. Holy Spirit grabbed my heart, and I felt His presence as I worked.
At the same time I was making cookies, I also met my sweet Pastor husband. I gave up the idea of traveling with a drama troupe and added education to my major. We got married in our senior year, and I graduated magna cum laude.
Seminary Life
Our next step was seminary. We moved to Olathe, Kansas were my sweet Pastor husband worked on staff at Olathe College Church and went to Nazarene Theological Seminary. I taught English and drama at a high school in Independence, Missouri. I loved my job. In fact, I considered getting a masters in theatre arts, but the degree was as intensive as my sweet Pastor husband’s degree at the seminary, and we couldn’t swing both.
At the end of Seminary, our daughter Rachel was born. We moved to Olympia, Washington where my sweet Pastor husband was the youth pastor at Mountain View Church of the Nazarene. Two years later, I gave birth to our son, Brad.
Mom Life
My mom worked while I grew up, and I assumed I would do the same. My sweet Pastor husband’s mom stayed home, and he really wanted me to do the same. I am adaptable, and so I agreed. I never imagined I would be a stay-at-home mom. However, I got to be creative with my children and have fun, so I was content.
Many mothers have very intentional plans in regard to raising their children. I was not one of those mothers. I basically had two goals. First, I wanted them both to know Jesus loved them. I sang Jesus loves Me and Oh How He Loves You and Me to my children more times than I can count. Second, I wanted them to be independent. I wanted them to know they could do things on their own and that they had great value.
I looked forward to when they would go to school. However, when the day came they were both in school all day, I struggled. I had centered my life around them, and I began to ask questions like: Who am I? Where did Nancy go? Do I have anything to offer besides being a fun mom?
Lessons from Strength Finders
I’ve lived a lot of life since then. Both of my children are grown and adulting well. My sweet Pastor husband has a doctorate degree. I have lost two sisters and both my parents to cancer. My brother is still alive, along with one sister who has battled cancer twice.
At one point in our journey, both my sweet Pastor husband and I took a test called Strength Finders. Strength Finders is a tool that reveals how you approach what you do. My top five strengths are adaptability, positivity, empathy, learner, and maximizer.
As I look at my story and my strengths, I clearly see I found my value in adapting to what others wanted and/or needed. In addition, I found my value in being a good student, as well as being a positive and compassionate role model whether as a teacher or a youth leader at church. I relied on my creativity and imagination to make the best of whatever situation I found myself in.
Years after learning about strength finders, I looked into the Enneagram, another self-analysis tool. I believe myself to be a nine. I am motivated by keeping peace and making everyone happy, which explains my adaptability, empathy, positivity, and my ability to maximize circumstances.
Longing to Know I’m Loved
People have often praised me for my adaptability, and my willingness to help. I don’t think I generally acted with a true servant’s heart. If I’m honest, I wanted to know I was loved and to be seen as strong, capable, and valuable. So, I adapted, helped, encouraged, and supported to gain what my soul longed for.
As I journeyed through life, I didn’t realize what I really desired. I was making others feel good. I got to be creative and have fun. Plus, I received plenty of affirmation. So, I lived life believing all was good in the depths of my soul.
Life Journey and Transformation
In addition, as I journeyed, I leaned into Jesus. Holy Spirit worked to transform me. I learned I don’t like to be the leader. Sure, I want a say, I just don’t want to be in charge.
For two different seasons I ran a home-based business. First, I sold rubber stamps and taught ladies how to make cards and scrapbook. Second, I sold jewelry and taught ladies how to make the most of their closets. Through theses activities, Holy Spirit revealed to me I thrive on color and pattern, along with creating something new with whatever I have available.
I learned that though I enjoy being alone, I am able to give others a sense of joy and belonging. In high school, I had this odd friend, he drove a hearse. He once told me I was one of the few people he liked. He went on to explain he liked me because I accepted him.
I also learned I see Scripture with a unique lens. Plus, I learned I function best when I can work at a relaxed pace combined with simple structure. All the way along, Holy Spirit has been teaching me how to be the me He created me to be in the first place. God has been gently bringing me to the full realization He loves me immensely and He values me.
Truths to Help in Transformation
Recently I read Jennie Allen’s latest book, The Lie You Don’t Know You Believe. Holy Spirit affirmed I most often believe the lie, I’m worthless. As I’ve processed through this latest revelation, God communicated four truths to me that I think could help you on your journey as you lean into Jesus, allowing Him to transform you.
God Welcomes Everyone
Truth 1. God welcomes all the weary and burdened. In Matthew 11:28 Jesus says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” None of us need to have everything together whenever we come to Him. Christ invites us and offers our souls rest so we can know peace, fulfillment, acceptance, and love.
Made in God’s Image
Truth 2. We are each one made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-31). We obviously don’t visually look like God since He gave us bodies and He is spirit. Plus, none of us is equal to God, therefore we are not a complete image of God. Instead, all of us uniquely reveal a portion of God’s character. He has wired and gifted each of us differently. I get to divulge a portion of God’s creativity along with His desire to encourage and uplift. Others illuminate God’s absolute strength, or ability to notice details and organize efficiently. Still others proclaim God’s justice with a passion for what is right and wrong.
In addition, God says in Genesis 1:26-31 we are created to rule over the earth and the creatures who dwell on earth. Not all versions of the Bible use the word rule, some use the word reign, dominion, power, or authority over. To simplify, God calls us to manage well what He entrusts to us; He calls each of us to lead in some way just like He does. Each one of us affects others in our sphere of influence. We must influence for God’s Kingdom.
No Need to be Perfect
Truth 3. We don’t have to be perfect. God is fully aware we have weaknesses, and that the enemy is out to distract us, lie to us, and lead us away from truth. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, God’s grace is enough. His power completes or perfects where we are weak, or incapable, or where we fail. Allow me also to remind you, He is able to do more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
God Does the Work of Transformation
Truth 4. God is the one who transforms us. In Romans 12:1-2, Paul clearly states our job is to offer ourselves to the One who is worthy of our worship. He renews our minds, and in the process, we are transformed. Does this mean we do nothing? No, we are to listen and be obedient, always remaining aware of God’s goodness and grace to us.
I know I often read Galatians 5 about the fruit of the Spirit and think I need to act more loving, more patient, more kind. Whereas that is most often true, those behaviors are not something we do from our will. We offer ourselves to God and fill our mind with His love and grace. He changes us; He alters how we look at life and how we determine what is of greatest value. We begin to act more like our Savior, treating others with love, patience, kindness, and more.
Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Loves You
I admit, I haven’t always found it easy to live into those four truths. I know they bring great freedom when I do. However, I’m only able to fully live into these truths when I fully live into the truth that Jesus loves me. The very thing I wanted my children to know, I am desperate to also know.
At the beginning of this year, God gave me a word for 2026. God gave me the word winsome. With the help of Dictionary.com and Thesaurus.com, I define winsome as sweetly or innocently charming. Engaging. Captivating. Cute. Delightful. Inviting. Pleasant.
As I prepared this, I came to realize God is bringing me full circle. He is returning me back to the winsome child I once was. He’s empowering me to see He has always loved me and valued me. He created me on purpose for a specific purpose to reveal a delightful part of His character.
Allow me to reassure you, He has always loved and valued you as well. He created you on purpose for a purpose, to reveal His image to others. The Bible tells us so. To Him be glory forever, Hallelujah.
Road in Forest Photo by JOHN TOWNER on Unsplash
Beautiful!!!! You and your family have greatly enriched our lives. We’ve shared difficult experiences and wonderful, enriching times. I thank God for gifting you to encourage all of us. Can’t wait to see you soon.
And I can’t wait to see you my friend!! We will have the best time!
Who was the guy who owned the Hearst? I remember the car, but not who drove it.
Rob McGraw owned the hearse. I think it’s funny that you remember it!