How to Battle a Stronghold
What is the negative line you continually speak over yourself? Many of us tell ourselves we’re stupid, fat, worthless, unwanted, or just wrong ~ all the time. If someone challenges us, we will cave and say we really aren’t those things. However, we continue to whisper the same line to our souls.
Psychology and neuroscience tell us we are formed by the phrases we speak over ourselves. In addition, we speak the same statements over and over when we are stressed.
My Mom and Her Line
I remember when my mom got older and began to struggle with her checkbook. My mother was incredibly accomplished and brilliant. However, my mom was more comfortable with words than numbers. As she aged, numbers became even more difficult. She often got frustrated with her checkbook. She began a habit of calling herself an idiot every time the numbers didn’t balance correctly.
I watched my mom, who I thought could do anything my entire life, berate herself and destroy her self-confidence. I saw her new habit move from when she balanced her checkbook, to when a recipe didn’t turn out the way she hoped, to when she forgot to do a task, and on to multiple other scenarios.
The Struggle with Perfectionism
I’m not sure where the idea comes from, but many of us have the skewed perception we are to be perfect. Perhaps we once memorized Matthew 5:48, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (NIV) Some of us were raised in ultra conservative homes where the standard of behavior was extremely high without much explanation. Others of us were just born with perfectionistic tendencies that follow us wherever we go.
We give ourselves little room for mistakes. When blunders do happen, we quickly become frustrated or irritated with ourselves. However, we don’t give ourselves space to process through our negative emotions. Instead, we “pull up our big girl panties,” and get busy fixing what we messed up, all the while scolding ourselves on the inside.
Discovering my Own Stronghold
A month or so ago, I was backing out of our driveway to go to the store. I wasn’t going fast and I did look both ways before proceeding. We often have a car parked directly across from our driveway. Just as my tires hit the edge of the street, I suddenly wondered if that car was parked in its familiar space.
I paused to check for the parked car and instead saw a car waiting in the street that I hadn’t seen before. I don’t know if I didn’t check adequately, or if the car had come around a corner. Instantly, I felt embarrassed and stressed. I waited for the car to pass as I muttered insults to myself in my head.
My imagination went off the deep end. I wondered if they had memorized my license plate and would report me to the HOA. I feared they would talk negatively about me to the neighbors. To combat my fears, I hoped there were at least five other green Subaru Foresters in the neighborhood to confuse them.
I came face to face with what Paul calls in 2 Corinthians 10:4 a stronghold. Whereas I would never say it aloud, I expected perfection from myself. In my skewed belief, I feared if I failed, others wouldn’t like nor accept me. When I did blow it, I rarely spent time seeking to discover and then owning up to where I went wrong. Instead, I tried to quickly cover it up and move on.
What is a Stronghold?
“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
2 Corinthians 10:3-5, NIV
What is a stronghold? A stronghold is something we believe to be true that God would say isn’t true. For example, we might believe we have to make ourselves better for God. We could believe we are the ones who have to change how we behave all on our own, instead of allowing God to transform us.
Satan tells us lies, just like he told Eve, in the hope we will buy into his skewed version of life. When we buy into these lies, we create a pathway in our brain that can easily lead to the creation of a stronghold. We then align our behavior and beliefs with something that isn’t from God and isn’t truth.
God Offers Grace
On that day in my car, God compassionately whispered grace to my spirit. He reminded me we all make mistakes. In addition, He pointed out how He protected me by leading me to pause. Then He reminded me I had no idea what the other people were thinking.
I found myself at a fork in the road so to speak. I could continue to criticize and condemn myself and ruin the rest of my afternoon. Or I could accept God’s generous grace and allow myself to be grateful for His intervention in my life. God and I began a conversation where I sought His wisdom about battling strongholds in the future. God led me to see five truths in 2 Corinthians 10:3-5.
Five Truths to Battle Strongholds
First, we must let go of human standards. We must not get our ideas of what makes us worthy from social media or any place other than God’s Word. God alone is the One who makes us holy. We are saved by grace, “it is God’s gift.” (Ephesians 2:8, CSB)
Second, we wage a spiritual war. We are battling for Truth to reign supreme in our hearts and minds. Regardless of what people say is right, only God gets to determine what is true (John 14:6, John 16:13; John 17:17).
Third, we get to rely on God’s power and not our own. God gave us the Holy Spirit so we wouldn’t have to live afraid of measuring up. Instead, we get to lean on Holy Spirit’s “power, love and sound judgement”(2 Timothy 1:7, CSB). Holy Spirit will enable us to reframe what we are thinking so it aligns with God’s truth. He can also empower us to see our circumstance from God’s point of view. Plus, Holy Spirit will provide truth about who we are in Christ Jesus.
Fourth, we must tear down our own arrogance. I behaved with arrogance when I assumed the other driver would continue to think about me. When we try to prove our worth by convincing others we are “good” we act pridefully. We also exhibit arrogance if we think we have the ability to fix our own struggles.
Last, we are to take every thought captive to obey Christ. In other words, we compare our thoughts to what Jesus thinks, and then we make sure our thoughts align with Christ’s thoughts. We must study God’s Word and learn what God says about us, the best pattern for life, and what we should consider important in our day to day lives.
Evaluating Your Stronghold
Think back to the negative line you speak over yourself.
- Where did the line come from? Is it a lie from the evil one? Did you formulate your line from social media, an embarrassing event, a fear, or something your siblings teased you about?
- Do you believe the evil one is trying to pull you away from God?
- Are you trying to measure up? What do you think Holy Spirit would say to you about your line?
- Are you focused on yourself or on Holy Spirit and what He says?
- What does Jesus say? What is the Truth in God’s Word?
God wants us to live in victory. Paul says in Galatians 5:1, “For freedom, Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and don’t submit again to a yoke of slavery.” (CSB) Living in freedom is possible. After all, nothing is impossible to God; He promises us His divine power to demolish strongholds. Hallelujah!
Thought Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash
