Nancy Brewer

Three Valuable Lessons to be Patient in the Process

I’m a shoe girl; I am a fan of having a plethora of shoes. I like owning shoes in assorted colors, and shoes of the same color but distinctive styles and varied heel heights. I love the concept of taking one outfit, and just by changing my shoes and accessories, I have an outfit for a different type of activity. I’m not called Fancy Nancy for nothing.

My Shoe Dilemma

I have encountered a hick-up in my shoe wardrobe. Due to age most likely, my physical therapist counseled me to alter my shoe options. My toes need more room, and my arches need better support. I have begun the process of transforming my shoe wardrobe.

I have tried on too many shoes to remember. I’ve been to department stores, off-price retailers, and stores that just sell shoes. I’ve ordered shoes online, tried them on, and sent them back. I’ve moved into a fresh new price range for shoes. I’ve given up on pointed toes, high heels, and slim looks. Currently, I am debating with myself whether I can comfortably wear shoes without backs.

Photo by Vlad Vasnetsov on Unsplash

Living in Process

I have purchased two pairs. When you add in my workout shoes, a pair of Chaco boots, hiking boots, Chaco sandals, and two pairs of heeled sandals that just squeak by my new boundaries, I have eight pairs of shoes to choose from, though not all are appropriate for wearing to work. I am clearing out 27 pairs of shoes. (Note: I am keeping 5 pairs of “bad” dressy shoes because A.) I love them, B.) I must have something to wear with a dress.)

It’s a process. A longer than I expected, more expensive than I’d like, process.

I keep telling myself to slow down and be patient. I have yet to go anywhere barefooted, and no one has been giving me strange what-is-she-wearing looks. I’ve begun to look at everyone’s shoes. Everyone’s shoes. I’ve realized most people aren’t footwear fashionistas, and I still can’t stop shopping for shoes.

A No-Patience Culture

Our culture is not big on patience. There are fast food drive throughs and microwave meals. We read books and articles on how to achieve something in three to five simple steps. You can buy a pill to help you lose weight without changing your diet or having to exercise. No longer do you need to wait a week for the next episode of your favorite TV series, you can binge watch the whole shebang on Netflix in a weekend.

Sadly, this struggle with patience transfers into our spiritual life. We read verses like “nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37) and “I can do all things through Christ,” (Philippians 4:13) and perceive we should be able to snap our fingers and be instantaneously like Jesus. No sweat, no problem, no process to go through. Paul describes it differently in Romans 12.

Life of Transformation

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”  

Romans 12:2 NLT

Notice the words “transform,” “changing,” and “learn to know.”  All those words suggest the passage of time. A note in the Amplified version says this about “be transformed”: “From the Greek word meaning ‘metamorphosis.’ Refers to the process that leads to an outward, permanent change.”

Transformation is a Process

When we ask for forgiveness and accept Christ’s gift of grace, Jesus saves us in an instant. The development into a mature believer who fully displays the fruit of the Spirit takes a lifetime of learning from the Holy Spirit.

We don’t expect toddlers to walk the moment they first roll over; there are steps in between. Teachers and parents don’t expect kindergarteners to read To Kill a Mockingbird or Lord of the Flies. Beginning piano players don’t start with Beethoven or Chopin. Little League players may dream of hitting it over the fence, but many of them began with T-ball.

Photo by Duane Mendes on Unsplash

Be Patient

May I encourage you to be patient with yourself, offering leniency to yourself? If you are a believer, you are developing into a person who fully reflects Jesus Christ. You are in a process of transformation; you are not who you once were, and you are not yet who you will become. James 1:3-4 says, “For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (NLT, emphasis mine.) You are learning the steps and the rhythms, the ins and outs, of being a follower of Christ. So let yourself grow.

Three Lessons to be Patient in the Process

My shoe escapades have taught me three valuable lessons that I think are appropriate for our spiritual walk as well, teaching us to be lenient amid our metamorphosis.

1. Offer Grace to Yourself

I’ve bought and returned 7 pairs of shoes so far. I tried the ones I felt had possibilities for a day at work. If they were uncomfortable or I had severe pain that evening, I returned the shoes. I am in a learning curve of what will and will not work. There is a learning curve in many areas of our spiritual lives; we must learn what will and will not work as we attempt to understand God’s Holy Spirit.

In Psalm 86, David prays, “But you, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. Look down and have mercy on me. Give your strength to your servant…” (verses 15-16, NLT). Follow God’s example and allow yourself the space of grace He provides as we struggle to learn a better way of living.

2. Be Realistic in Your Expectations

As I began this new shoe journey, I thought if I could just identify a brand or two that would work with my feet, I would be golden. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been true. I suspect I will be trying on too many pairs of shoes for the rest of my life. There’s no need for me to get discouraged or be disappointed if finding shoes takes longer than one day of shopping adventure. That expectation is long gone.

We need to be honest with ourselves about what we expect spiritually. If you tend to have a temper, then maintaining self-control will take more work for you. Some of us have the bad habit of being judgmental; changing the way we think could easily be two steps forward and three steps back. Philippians 4:6 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done.” (NLT) Don’t fret if you aren’t growing as fast as someone else. Stop comparing yourself to an imagined ideal. Spend time conversing with the Father, listening, learning and being grateful for how He meets you where you are.

3. Learn from Your Attempts

I’ve learned in my shoe search to turn the shoe over and examine the width of the top part of the shoe; I’ve even learned a specific measurement that will keep my toes happy. Cushy is nice, but a defined arch is best. Each shoe I try on has a lesson for me to learn in what will or will not be comfortable for me in the long run.

The book of Proverbs is filled with the idea that wise people listen and become wiser (Proverbs 1:5, 9:9, 18:15). As Paul ends his second letter to Timothy, he reminds Timothy that Scripture not only provides truth, but it corrects the reader and teaches a better way to do what is right. We all need to learn what is best and how to modify what we’ve been doing in the past.

The Process Builds Relationship

Whereas it may seem ideal to be instantly mature, we build our relationship with God through the process of transformation. We have the goal to be like Jesus and be God’s ambassador of reconciliation, but we don’t find abundant life just in the end goal. You and I find the deep joy of following Christ through the everyday process of learning, and being renewed, and discovering we know God better than we did before.

As you journey through transformation, may you be able to confidently say with David, “But you, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.” Amen and amen.

1 thought on “Three Valuable Lessons to be Patient in the Process

  1. Love this! I too have been doing a revamp of all my clothing items. My verse this year is not worrying about clothes or food. Matt. 6:25-30. Patience in all processes is important as we are also remodeling our basement and bathroom. I can relate to your pipe issues! Have a good week. I enjoy your posts! We should meet for lunch!

Comments are closed.