Nancy Brewer

Soaring

I had a day last week when I hit the pinnacle of corona virus sheltering-at-home success; I was back to living life with flair! My husband finished the final step in attaining his doctorate and he had a new title. The previous evening, while he was out of the house, I created congratulatory signs for the lawn. On the day of his big achievement, I muscled my signs deep into the dirt of our front lawn, I gleefully tied graduation balloons to the fence bordering our front steps, and then strutted out into the street to snap a few pictures. I congratulated myself heartily on a job well done.  I didn’t have a new title, but I was back to reigning as the Queen of Fun.  I could hardly wait for him to get home from  work.  I prepared his favorite meal: Tacos, Juanitas (the best tortilla chip ever) and guacamole, with fresh warm brownies to finish out our simple festivities. I admit to being a bit giddy as I anticipated his arrival.  He was appropriately surprised and delighted, and we proceeded to have one of those ideal evenings only older married people seem to carry off and think is enchanting.  When I laid my head down that night my whole body was smiling.  I felt deliciously happy and good.
I bounded out of bed the following morning and dropped from a jubilant 10 to a dismal 3 in less than five minutes.  The day was cloudy, dreary and rainy.  I felt like someone had punched all the oomph out of my Queen of Fun reign.  I didn’t feel innovative, witty or playful in any form.  I looked out the window and matched my mood too quickly to the weather.  It didn’t feel as if there was anything to look forward to in this new day, it appeared to be just another day at home with the typical mundane things to do.  The thought of “why try?” sauntered through my brain and found a cushy chair to take up residence in.  This new tenant pricked, prodded and prompted me to venture down into the box canyon of No Mo’ Motivation.  I was on the verge of succumbing to her proposal to just play some games on my phone, when the power of habit broke through my fog.  I sat in my front room, coffee cup in hand and opened my Bible to visit with Jesus.  Let’s just say I wasn’t at my cheery best.
Jesus and I read through Isaiah 40:25-31. The passage begins with God asking “who is my equal,”  and then He goes on to point out the multitude of stars and the fact that He knows them all by name.  I imagine Jesus was whispering things like, “That’s so cool! Did you catch that?  The Father calls ALL the stars by name! Wow!  That’s a lot of stars to know! God is amazing!”  I couldn’t seem to be moved.  In fact, I read the rest of the passage through somewhat cynical eyes.  I wonder how disappointed Jesus was with my lack of enthusiasm.  My husband would’ve left the conversation and found something else to do instead of dealing with my mood.  Jesus began to nudge me toward verse 27.  “Jacob, why do you say, and Israel, why do you assert: ‘My way is hidden from the Lord, and my claim is ignored by my God’?”  In a moment of clarity I realized I was verse 27.  I may have been going through the motions of believing, but I was allowing my circumstances to convince me God didn’t see me, or if He did see me, He didn’t care.  Have you been there?  Are you there now as you live through the pandemic in your corner of the world?
We tend to think our boredom and the dragging of our feet as we live in our monotony are hidden from God.  After all, wouldn’t a loving father make life more enchanting, provide an activity or a gift to keep us living happy lives? Perhaps we think He’s just sitting up in heaven rolling his eyes at us and wishing we’d stop whining because, after all, this isn’t eternity! We tend to see God in the ways we secretly know we respond to the complaining of others.  All the while we are entertaining the idea: “Surely we deserve some soaring on wings like eagles,” drawn from the thirty-first verse of Isaiah 40.
I have a tendency to jump to the idea of soaring without putting in the effort to do the discipline of trusting.  Do you do that too?  We are eager to go gliding, after all that sounds fun and exhilarating! I find myself telling God how I want to soar, where I want to soar, when I want to soar and exactly how I think it should all play out.  Do you do that too?  Maybe we’ve misunderstood what it means to soar? 
Isaiah 40:31, the soaring verse, begins with this statement, “but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength.” Those who trust: those who set their own ideas aside; those who don’t try to fix circumstances on their own; those who don’t ‘soldier through’; those who recognize God is the one with the wisdom and the knowledge; those who perceive the drastic difference between who they are and who God is; those who know there is no one equal to God; those who wonder over the truth that God knows all the stars by name.
Isaiah 40:28 and 29 clearly give us proof why we should trust.  “Do you not know? Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth.  He never becomes faint or weary; there is no limit to his understanding.  He gives strength to the faint and strengthens the powerless.”  God knows about the corona virus.  He’s not surprised in any way.  God knows about our feelings  of boredom.  God knows our longing for freedom.  God knows the boundaries we feel compelled to live within and He knows how we are handling those boundaries.  God knows our battle to keep sadness, loneliness, and depression at bay.  “There is no limit to His understanding.”
The Amplified version gave my heart’s struggle some clarity.  “…They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]…”   This passage isn’t promising that any of us will soar above all the hassles of life and not be affected by them when we trust in God.  It does promise us renewed strength.  Our strength is refreshed because we are drawing near to God, the one who really does understand it all, from every angle, with every detail considered.  If I want to go gliding with Jesus, if you want to go along with us, we need to learn to trust more.  I admit it’s easier said than done.
Once I began to get beyond my moody reaction to the morning, Jesus began to peal back the verses we were looking at together.  His precious Holy Spirit revealed 4 things to help me trust.
  1. See God for who He is.  He is the one who created the stars and even named them.   He knows how many there are and He makes sure none of them go missing.  He is the everlasting God.  He is the creator of the entire world.
  2. Believe God cares.  Believe God sees me and knows me.  He’s the God who was aware of what Jacob and Israel where complaining about.  He’s the God who has no limit to His understanding.  He’s the God who gives strength to the faint and/or powerless, knowing there is nothing to be given in return.
  3. Accept it may not be all perfect and easy.  Even young men get worn out and become exhausted.  They stumble at times and even fall down.  All of us have limitations and life will exceed what we can handle on our own.
  4. Circumstances may not change and I can still be renewed. God refreshes our strength so that we can move forward.  He enables us to do what we didn’t think we could do.  He empowers us to do what we perhaps didn’t want to do. 
When we rise up close to God, when we are soaring, we don’t experience life from a bird’s eye view high above all the muck.  We see God.  That’s why we soar.  Trusting leads us to stop ourselves in the middle of our whining and remember who God is.  Trusting teaches us to pray, knowing God deeply cares and wants to hear from us.  Trusting prompts us to praise God for how He is showing up in the midst of the monotonous and mundane to reveal His glory in our lives.  
I’m ready to soar.  I’m eager to go gliding with Jesus.  Are you game?  We begin by ending the pity party; we start by to stopping our whining. It’s time to test our wings a bit and look for how God is showing  up in the midst of our every day lives.  The moment to rise up close to God is now.