Releasing is the First Element to Communing

My sweet Pastor husband and I have been married for 38 years; we will arrive at 39 years this December. Our early years were a series of adjustments, just like any newly married couple. For example, in my home of origin, we feasted regularly on casseroles. I had four siblings, so my mom became the queen of stretching a pound of hamburger. However, in my husband’s home of origin, the meals were often very southern with separate meat and potato portions.

After several weeks of eating only casseroles, my sweet Pastor husband finally spoke up. He politely asked why we only ate meals that were served in one dish. At first, I was concerned since casseroles were what I knew, but then I had a wonderful brainstorm. I happily prepared spaghetti since my mom always served the noodles separate from the sauce. As I proudly put dinner on the table, my sweet Pastor asked why they weren’t mixed together because his mom always mixed the noodles and sauce.

Relational Adjustments

In any relationship that grows and deepens, adjustments must be made. Think of how you adapt to what your friend wants to do on a given Saturday, or what one of your children wants to eat on a particular holiday.

I’ve noticed in many people’s relationship with God, my own included, we see Jesus as someone who improves our life. Jesus does make our lives better, but God challenges us to adapt our point of view. God wants our relationship with Him to be our life, just like Paul says in Colossians 3:1-4.

More than a Better Life

“So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”
Colossians 3:1=4

If we want our relationship with God to move beyond “Jesus makes our life better,” then we must learn to commune with God. We must make adaptions so that we are one with God, just as Christ was one with the Father. The story of Lazarus in John 11:1-44 reveals an element necessary to communing with God.

The Struggle of Choosing to Commune

In the story, Mary and Martha do what we all would do when someone we love dearly is dying. They call out to Jesus, knowing He can heal their brother. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking our burdens and circumstances to Christ. In fact, Jesus gives us an example of this when He prays in the Garden, “Abba, Father! All things are possible for you. Take this cup away from me…” (Mark 14:36)

However, Mary and Martha encounter a difficulty. Jesus doesn’t come right away, nor does He come within any time limit they hoped. I’m sure many of you have encountered a circumstance when you begged God to show up, but you felt He delayed, just as Mary and Martha experienced.

When we encounter such a distressing circumstance, we are left with questions. How do we commune with someone who let us down? How do we make our life about a god who didn’t step in when we needed him most? How do we deepen our relationship with God when we know He can “fix” any circumstance, but chooses instead to hold back from our request?

Communing Leads to Experiencing God’s Glory

Jesus tells the disciples an interesting tidbit in Luke 11:4. “This sickness will not end in death but it is for the glory of God so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Jesus says something similar in John 9 in connection with the man born blind. The disciples ask if it was the man’s fault or his parents’ fault, that the man was blind. Jesus tells them neither; it happened so the work of God would be displayed in his life.

God moves and works to reveal His glory to us. He sent Jesus who is the radiance of His glory (Hebrews 1:3). Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians that God gave us the light of Jesus into our darkness so that we know His glory. Isaiah tells us in Isaiah 43 that God created us, He redeems us, He calls us by name, He will be with us, that He is the Lord, our God, the Holy One and He created us for His glory. Matthew tells us we are to let our lights shine, doing good works so that God’s glory can be celebrated and magnified. (Matt 5:16)

God’s glory is so great, so much who He is, that God is always about His glory. Consequently, if our relationship with God is our real life, we wouldn’t want to miss seeing or experiencing His glory.

Communing Element #1: Release

Mary, Martha, and the disciples all had something they needed to release to fully experience the glory of God.

The Disciples Released Comfort and Safety

In John 11:7-16, we learn the disciples needed to release their comfort and safety. They were heading back into an antagonistic scenario. The last time they were in Judea, the Jews had tried to stone Jesus. The disciples rationalized it was best to stay put, remaining safe and alive. However, they surrendered their fear and chose to go wherever Jesus was going. We too must release our comfort and safety, trusting God knows best.

Mary and Martha Released Idealized Expectations

John recounts both Martha and Mary speaking the same thing to Jesus when they greet Him. “Lord, if you had been here…” If only. Does that phrase sound familiar to you? Each of us has a picture in our head of what the perfect life looks like for us. Your picture looks different than mine. Martha’s picture probably looked different from Mary’s, but they both agreed, they expected Jesus to come sooner and heal their brother before he died.

When we want to commune with God, be one with Him just like Jesus was one with the Father, we must choose to go along with what He chooses. We aren’t in a democracy with God. God is sovereign, the Holy One, and we must release our idealized expectations to experience the better life of His glory.

Mary and Martha Released Pain and Negative Emotions

Though Martha and Mary said the same thing to Jesus, they still managed Lazarus’ death differently. Martha was aware of what was going on around her; she knew the moment Jesus hit the edge of town. On the other hand, Mary was lost in her grief. Each of us handles death and grief with a plethora of emotions: anger, resentment, disappointment, grief, sadness, hopelessness, sorrow, disbelief, confusion, emptiness.

When Jesus chose to go to the tomb, Martha and Mary chose to go as well. Sometimes when we are lost in powerful emotions, we stubbornly refuse to re-engage in life. We shut people out; we crawl into our hole, or we go to our room and shut the door.

Scripture doesn’t tell us, but I imagine, Martha and Mary had to release their negative emotions to fully experience what Jesus was going to do. They still felt their emotions in great depth as they stood at the tomb, but they stood there with Jesus, choosing to trust Him,

When we want to be one with the Father, to commune with Him, we too must release our pain and negative emotions. We don’t ignore our pain or refuse to process through our emotions, but we choose to be where God is. We place ourselves in a position to see Him move and see His glory. We go to church when we are depressed. We study His Word when we are angry. We pray repeatedly for the same request, and believe God is moving in ways we can’t see.

Martha Released Control

Once Mary and Martha were at the tomb with Jesus, He commanded the people to remove the stone. Martha basically said, “Not a great idea Jesus, it’s going to stink.” Then she provided a valid reason proving her well-informed point. She had things taken care of, she had done what needed to be done, and she didn’t need anyone messing things up. Martha needed to release control. Have you ever been there?

We manage problems and difficulties the best we can. We pull up our big girl panties and do what must be done. And when push comes to shove, we don’t want anyone, not even God, telling us He’s going to go in a different direction.

Jesus’ words to Martha were, “Didn’t I tell you if you believed, you would see the glory of God.” Jesus’ words to us are the same. He wants us to see His glory. He desires for us to experience being One with the Almighty in all His splendor. To commune with such wonder requires we release control.

Releasing: More than Letting Go

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase before, let Go and let God. It’s never been a favorite phrase of mine. I honestly think we must do more than let go.

First of all, we need to see ourselves honestly. What are we holding onto that we must release? Where are we hindering our spirit from being one with God?

Second, we must see God honestly. He is the Almighty. He is the giver and sustainer of life. He is the embodiment of love, grace, wisdom, and peace. He is holy and full of splendor and glory.

Last, we must recognize our desperation.

We are “Flail-ers”

“Not that I have already reached the goal or am already perfect, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I have also been taken hold of by Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3:12

Imagine for a moment someone starting to fall backwards off a cliff or a ledge. He waves his arms, flailing and attempting to regain his balance. Another person reaches out and grabs him by his shirt, keeping him from falling. However, if the first person keeps flailing, there’s no guarantee of rescue. The person who is falling must grab hold of his rescuer.

In our desperation, we are the flail-er. We must recognize we are only given a life filled with glory and communing with our Creator when we see how desperate we are for the relationship. We must choose to release what hinders us from being one with God or we will continue to flail and miss the glory God wants to reveal. We must choose to cling to God Himself and seek to experience the fullness of His glory.

Communing Element 1 Summary

The first element in communing with God is recognizing what we must release to fully experience the glory of God in our daily lives.

1. We must be honest with ourselves. What are you holding onto too tightly ~ security? Comfort? Control? An idyllic picture of life? Hurt emotions?

2. We must see God honestly. He is all wise and all powerful. He is Sovereign, the Creator and Sustainer of all things. He knows best and He loves us beyond our comprehension.

3. We must recognize our desperation. Without God, we have nothing. No peace, no redemption, no assurance, no grace. We can’t live the Christian life in our own strength. Reach out to the one who is rescuing you, don’t continue to flail.

Let’s Go Photo by Armand Khoury on Unsplash