Simple and Scriptural Ways to Encourage Others Well
A storm came in several weeks ago while I was working in my office. I looked out my window and noticed the wind blasting our new little tree. For a moment, I thought the gusting gale was going to rip the leaves right off our sapling.
Our new tree is tied to a stake. The stake has a couple of functions. First of all, the stake enables the tree to grow straight. Secondly, the stake provides stability when storms come. The stake continues to provide extra support until the tree’s roots are firmly established.
Next summer, at the latest, we will remove the stake from the tree in our front yard. By then, our tree will have grown the necessary roots for it to stand firmly on its own. Should the tree become diseased or damaged at some point, we may need to add a new stake for a period of time to secure the tree and enable its continued growth.
Be a Stake
As I looked at the black clouds and watched the tree bend, God’s Spirit reminded me of the difficulties of several of my friends. They are enduring harsh storms. I watch them battle formidable circumstances beyond their control. God’s Spirit calls me to be a stake for them during this season of their life.
If you’ve read the Bible at all, or if you’ve ever gone to church, you encountered various verses teaching you to encourage and build others up. God filled His word with scriptures that instruct us to be a stabilizing presence in the lives of our family, close friends, neighbors, and our church community.
The Encouragement Struggle
Many times, we want to be an encouragement to others, but we don’t feel adequate. We fear we will say the wrong thing, or that we don’t have enough Biblical knowledge to be helpful. At other times, we step away from getting involved because we are overwhelmed by our own circumstances. However, sometimes we just assume it’s too inconvenient, or too costly to our own comfort.
As I considered the various ways people have stabilized me in my life, I realized it often doesn’t cost what I fear. God revealed to me that encouraging others and standing with them amid the storms is often simple. Moreover, each time I listen and obey the Spirit’s nudging, I receive God’s blessing.
Paul’s First Letter to Thessalonica
In Paul’s first letter to the church in Thessalonica, he compliments the believers several times. He commends them for their faith (1 Thessalonians 3:6-8) and for loving each other well (1 Thessalonians 4:9-10). Paul provides instruction concerning living holy lives, and remaining true to the gospel until Christ returns, which he follows up with a simple, yet powerful verse.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11, CSB
The believers in Thessalonica were already helping each other stand firm. Though they were new Christians, they functioned as stakes for each other. They enabled one another to withstand the storms of life and remain true to Jesus.
We must follow the example of the Thessalonica believers. God calls us to encourage and build others up. Consider the following Bible verses and passages, along with the simple ideas God provided to me.
Consider One Another
“Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, since He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.”
Hebrews 10:23-25, CSB
- Help others remember God’s faithfulness. Tell your God story, recall Biblical stories together.
- Meet together; presence is a powerful gift. Pray, allow your friend to vent, and read scripture together.
Build One Another Up
“No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.”
Ephesians 4:29, CSB
- As Toby Mac would say, “Speak life.” Speak hope, spread love, inspire joy.
- Don’t allow someone else to speak negatively about themselves. Shut down phrases like, “I’m so stupid,” “I can’t do anything,” and “I deserve this.”
Be Hospitable
“Above all, maintain constant love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining. Just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God.”
1 Peter 4:8-10, CSB
- Invite someone who is hurting over for dinner or take them a meal.
- Volunteer to watch the children of someone who is overwhelmed.
- Mow the lawn and weed the garden of someone who is caring for someone else.
- Invite a hurting friend to accompany you on errands you must run and listen to their heart.
Share the Word and Gratitude
“Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”
Colossians 3:16, CSB
- Share what you are learning from God’s Word, ask what they are learning. Pray together.
- Send a friend a song you heard that reminded you of her and led you to pray for her.
- Mail someone a card that details the reasons why you are grateful for him or her.
Think on the Best Things
“Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable – if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy – dwell on these things.”
Philippians 4:8, CSB
- Provide a safe space for a friend to process through what she is thinking.
- Give your family and friends great reasons to laugh.
- Invite someone over to play games or watch a movie. Help them dwell on something other than their difficult circumstances.
- Send a note to someone and tell them what you find lovely and commendable about them.
The Comfort of God
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4, CSB
- Share practical advice that makes struggles more manageable. For example, I will be forever grateful for the person who shared that mice don’t like steel wool, and to use it to fill in gaps where mice might enter one’s home.
- Share scripture that has been powerful in your life. Write it on a 3×5 card so your friend can carry it with her.
- Provide a treat or surprise that will delight his or her spirit. Show up with ice cream, flowers, or a homemade treat.
- Listen well; you don’t need to give advice. As I stated before, presence is powerful.
- Affirm someone’s circumstance is difficult and pray for them in the moment.
The Perfect Words
“A word aptly spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings.”
Proverbs 25:11, CSB
- If God gives you something to share with someone, don’t wait, share immediately.
- Remind others of God’s truth.
- Consider this verse along with Matthew 7:1. Phrase your words so they are not judgmental.
- Remember you have two ears and only one mouth. Don’t just speak aptly, listen well.
We Need Each Other
Allow me to remind you of two truths. One, we are the body of Christ, designed to work together. We all need someone to stand with us at times and help us weather the storm. None of us are always the strong one. Two, we are not the Savior; Jesus is. God calls us to encourage one another, not rescue one another.
The tree in my front yard has a stake to strengthen it until its roots grow deeper. We are to be someone who stands with others while their roots grow deeper into Christ. We must affirm what the Psalmist says in Psalms 121, “I lift up my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalms 121:1-2)
