Six Simple Steps to Live in Hope Beyond Your Expectations

I went grocery shopping the other evening.  Earlier in the day, I browsed a variety of stores searching for the best deals.  Walmart was my last stop for the weekly grocery gathering.

My list wasn’t long, but the day had been. My day began at 4:30am since I worked an early shift. The goal for my evening adventue was to be in and out of the store as quickly as possible. I had been on my feet far too long, I was tired, and I just wanted to watch TV and munch on popcorn.

I purposefully checked items off my list and proceeded toward the front of the store where I saw a strange sight.  Lines and lines of people, all ready to check out.  The self-check out lanes were closed, and every shopper was waiting for a yellow vested Walmart employee to ring up their items.

Waiting in Line

I found myself feeling panicky, and oddly weepy.  I didn’t want to stand anymore.  I knew my circumstance couldn’t be helped.  I couldn’t have done something different and achieved a better outcome.  Leaving and returning the next day didn’t seem to be a good option, after all, I had already waited at least 30 minutes.

When my turn came, I was gracious to the Walmart employee who scanned my items.  I sensed she was as ready to go home as I was.  I pushed the cart to my car, loaded my groceries in the back, and proceeded to drive home.  I wished I had bought the donut I had purposefully opted to not put in my cart, thinking perhaps that would’ve made me feel a tad better.

I wondered why the experience had left me so drained.

Expectations

Even though I hadn’t stated them out loud, I had expectations.  Experience has taught me I can easily be in and out of the store in less than an hour, even less than 45 minutes if I don’t run into anyone I know.  Due to my long day, I expected at least 2 hours of mindless relaxation before going to bed. I had interacted plenty during the day, and I expected to shop and check out in my own private space bubble.

My expectations didn’t feel high, but they weren’t met, and my emotions reacted accordingly.  Unmet expectations, whether stated or unstated, real or perceived, for ourselves or for others, leave us feeling a myriad of negative emotions.

Expectations and Hope

We often use the words hope and expectation interchangeably, but they are not the same thing. They both have an element of wanting something to happen, anticipating what is desired. The difference is that hope is based in an internal mindset that longs for events to turn out for the best. Hope involves believing and trusting a person.  Expectation is more of an attitude where we regard an event as likely to happen. Expectation is focused on a predetermined outcome that we see as best.

When we base our life on our expectations we lean toward entitlement; when we base our life on hope we lean toward faith.

Even as I stood with my grocery cart, shifting my weight from side to side, hoping to ease the tiredness in my legs, I knew that the circumstance shouldn’t dictate my attitude or my treatment of others.  God’s Spirit gently reminded me that all of us were waiting with the unmet expectation of exiting the store quickly. Each person standing with a cart had an expectation to be somewhere else.

Expectation VS Hope

In a blog I read by Thane Marcus, “Hope vs. Expectation: A Finer Line than You Think,” he lays out a chart comparing hope and expectation.  He presents the concept that hope trusts in the process of the experience, while expectation just trusts the results.

That idea made me think about my Walmart adventure. My expectations weren’t met; therefore, my results were less than.  To some degree, that is true, I didn’t achieve quite as much down time as I would’ve liked. Hope tells me that the wait was worthwhile because I became aware of my selfish expectations and how they were framing my attitudes. Expectations say I know best, therefore things should go as I plan. Hope says, I can plan, but I always acknowledge that God knows best, and I choose to trust who He is.

“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.”

Psalm 62:5 NLT

I am currently avoiding Walmart after 4 pm to save me a repeat of my previous experience. I am also paying attention to my inner thoughts and deciphering if I have unnecessary expectations of myself and/or others. I don’t want to live entitled; I want to be a woman of faith, a woman of hope.

Living in Hope

For all of us, living a life of hope over expectations is a lifelong journey. There will be days it’s easy-peasy, and there will be days that feel excruciating. I created 6 steps to help me live in hope beyond my expectations.

1. Identify your expectations, whether actual or perceived. Expectations aren’t bad, but they can lead you to a place that is not healthy. 
2. Recognize your expectations do not define you, God does. God loves you regardless of whether you achieve or not. He is for you.
3. Be aware of your personal red flags that warn you, letting you know you are too set on a particular result.  In Walmart, the sudden feeling of just wanting to cry was my red flag. Red flags could be anger, frustration, calling yourself names, or giving up.
4. Humble yourself before God acknowledging your need. Be conscious of the truth that God knows best, and that He is trustworthy. Ask for His movement in your life.
5. Listen for the Holy Spirit’s encouragement and instructions. Follow through in obedience. If necessary, go back to steps 3 and 4 if you are struggling to obey. Unwillingness to be obedient may be a red flag letting you know you are set on a specific outcome.  Humble yourself before God again. Be patient with yourself and accept God’s grace.
6. Take time later to look back and express gratitude for God’s presence in your circumstance. Identify how you saw God show up, what you learned about Him and what you learned about yourself.

So many things can trigger us to live a life where we feel we need to measure up. We too often live life measuring ourselves against some unspoken list of expectations. God wants us to live in hope, trusting who He is every step of every day. 

Living Beyond Expectation

I want to live beyond my expectations, eagerly expecting to live in hope, just like Paul. Are you with me?

Grocery Cart Photo by Marjan Blan | @marjanblan on Unsplash