God’s Generosity

Don’t you love it when someone is generous to you?  Perhaps someone pays for your coffee when you go through the drive through. Perhaps you are surprised with a bouquet of spring flowers. Perhaps someone in your house actually loads the dishwasher, runs it, and then unloads it without being asked! I am a firm believer in the idea that life is enriched when, in the middle of every day activities, someone acts generously toward someone else.  I believe both people are impacted, and God smiles.

I read the parable of the vineyard workers the other morning in my time with Jesus.  It’s a familiar story to me. A group  of workers are hired in the morning to work in a vineyard.  They make an agreement with the vineyard owner that they will work the entire day for one denarius, basically a typical day’s wage.   The vineyard owner goes back to the marketplace several times during the day and finds more people to work in his vineyard and he sends them out to his field.  He does that almost up to quitting time.  At the end of the day, all the workers are paid.  They are all paid the same wage; every worker received the one denarius, regardless of the time of day they started.  As one expects, the initial group of workers hired feel they are treated unfairly.  They state the truth that they worked all day out in the sun and heat.  Their argument is that surely they should be compensated with a slightly higher wage.  The vineyard owner reminds them that they agreed to work the whole day in the sun and heat for one denarius.  The wage they received is fair. The vineyard owner says, “Friend, I’m doing you no wrong. Didn’t you agree with me on a denarius? Take what’s yours and go. I want to give this last man the same as I gave you.  Don’t I have the right to do what I want with what is mine?  Are you jealous because I am generous?”

I saw myself in those workers. I remembered a number of times I have had a similar conversation with God.  ‘Why is someone younger than me having such success?  I’ve put in my dues, why am I still struggling to achieve the dreams I have?’  ‘Why didn’t that opportunity come to me Lord?  I’ve been faithful!  Why was that person chosen?’  ‘I’m available Lord! Why aren’t you using me in the ways I’ve been wired?  I keep offering myself. Why do I feel left on the shelf?’  Have you ever been there? 

I stared at the words, “Are you jealous because I’m generous?”  I had to honestly answer with a whispered “yes.”  The Holy Spirit began to remind me of Biblical truth: ALL good gifts come from God; He is Sovereign, so He has the right to do what He wants with what is His; He is all wise, so He knows what is best for each person; He is the Landowner, so it’s all about Him and not about me; God is faithful and He has generously provided salvation, peace, joy and eternity in His presence; God is love and He loves me with an overwhelming, excessive love.  With each truth brought to mind I began to realize how very generous God has been and continues to be to me.  The problem doesn’t lie with God. The problem lies with me.

Mark 7:21 and 22 says, “For from within, out of people’s hearts come evil thoughts, sexual immoralities, thefts, murders, adulteries, greed, evil actions, deceit, self-indulgence, envy, slander, pride and foolishness.” I admit I have a tendency to skim over verses like these because they begin with behaviors and habits that don’t describe me.  I haven’t felt murderous since I shared a room with my sister, and I’m truly too fearful of the risk of being caught to ever steal something.  It’s the concepts at the end of the list that stick it to me: greed, self-indulgence, envy, slander, pride and foolishness.  Comfort and ease is my Achilles heel and they encourage my selfishness to grab control where I have no business being in charge. Thankfully I also find myself in Ephesians 2:10, “For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.”  Sadly I make more work for the Holy Spirit when I get my eyes on what I perceive I deserve.  I imagine that God has had to be very creative in forming a masterpiece out of the pieces I leave Him.  

I get caught up in comparing myself to others.  I end up feeling insecure, ineffectual and worthless.  So I come to God expecting Him to bolster me up by being generous in some way that I have already decided will make me feel better about myself.  In the parable the vineyard owner and the workers agreed upon a wage.  This question popped into my mind: What have God and I agreed upon?  I accept His gift of grace and receive eternal life and a restored relationship with Him.  I choose to call Him Lord and Savior, and He makes me a new creation, a masterpiece.  I follow the example of Jesus and the instructions He gives to Kingdom followers and He provides peace, joy and fulfilled purpose.  I choose to trust Him to provide for all my needs, He gets to choose how that will happen.  I choose to believe He is who He says He is and He strengthens me, encourages me, empowers my faith, and pours out His love and acceptance on me.  I saw that God is generous to me, and still I felt a struggle in my spirit.  On that particular morning I had a Barre class to attend, so I got dressed, grabbed my water bottle and jumped in my car.  As I was driving across town, the song Holy Water, by We the Kingdom, came on the radio. The song put into words what my spirit struggled to confess out loud:

God, I’m on my knees again

God, I’m begging please again

I need You

Oh, I need You

Walking down this desert road

Water for my thirsty soul

I need You

Oh, I need You…

Your forgiveness

Is like sweet, sweet honey

On my lips

Like the sound of a symphony

To my ears

Like holy water on my skin

On my skin

I don’t wanna abuse Your grace

God, I need it every day

It’s the only thing that ever really

Makes me wanna change

I don’t wanna abuse Your grace

God, I need it every day

God gently reminded me that everything was okay between us because He was offering me His grace.  He was being generous to me in the way I needed it most.  I heard his sweet voice whisper, “Friend, I am doing you no wrong.”  He is trustworthy.  He is faithful.  He loves me.  He is a good, good Father.  And He is generous to me.