Groaning

I went to my Barre class earlier this week.  I admit, I didn’t necessarily want to go to work out, but I did want to go to see my friend.  I laughed more than usual as I exercised, though admittedly I don’t normally associate exercising and laughing.  I want to say I enjoyed myself… at least some, but I don’t want word to get around.  Exercising to me is a necessary evil.  I have friends who love to work out, they like that feeling of pushing themselves and overcoming limitations and pain to achieve a new level, a new ability.  Their anticipation of pain is always a wonder to me.  I wonder what in the world is wrong with them!  Thankfully, those friends, are always gracious and encouraging to me in my Eeyore attitude in response to exercising. 

Perhaps I enjoyed the Barre class because of my time with Jesus earlier that morning.  I spent time in Romans 8:18-25, reading, studying and listening to God’s Spirit speak truth to my heart.  It’s a familiar passage about the fact that our sufferings in the present time can’t compare to the glory that awaits us when we finally are in God’s presence, praising Him around His throne.  Paul says that all of creation is groaning because it wants to be free from the bondage of decay.   He goes on to say, “Not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit as the first-fruits — we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.”  That bit about the groaning grabbed my attention since I knew Barre class was coming.  I really identify with the idea of groaning in response to working out.  Exercising never seems to be easy for me.  I’ve heard people say that after awhile it is supposed to get easier, more enjoyable.  I think they lie.  I struggle to get my breath; my muscles scream at me to just stop; attempting to coordinate some of the movements is a constant battle;  and I often just feel old, chubby and worn out.  I keep at it though; I’m anticipating something better.  I hope for freedom of movement, less fat, stronger muscles and increasing flexibility. 

I began to think about this spiritual groaning.  I know that I’m constantly wanting something better or something more.  I want a better job.  I want more free time to be creative.  I want a better body.  I want new boots. I want more friends and more social opportunities.  I want better discussions with deeper thoughts and more intimacy.  I want better carpet. I want more coffee, all day, every day.  I want better coffee.  I want more time with my children.  I want a better relationship with my extended family.  I could keep listing, and I’m sure so could you.  It’s all because we are groaning under the reality that this life isn’t what God had originally planned for us.  The truth is, until the redemption of our bodies, we will suffer in this present time.  Living this life, while we anticipate what we were really created for is not easy.  Some days it’s just hard work, like going to Barre class over and over and over, hours on end, without a break.

Sadly, because we are so desperate for the hope of glory, we sometimes plug in something more readily available hoping it will satisfy.  I might try a new job, or more free time, or trying to get a better body, or buying new boots or ….  I know I’ve gotten caught up at times in all the temporary joys of this world. I’ve focused on acquiring more of what is seen instead of what is unseen (2 Cor. 4:17,18).  Sometimes I think we forget that we have already been adopted, we are already accepted as part of the family.  So we plug in activities that we think will make us more appealing, that will increase our worth, just to be on the safe side.  I know I forget at times that I already have been given the Spirit as a down payment to remind me that I am part of the Chosen.  God has gifted me, and you, His Spirit. Even in the midst of our groaning, we are not alone.  God’s Spirit is with us, in us, to comfort and counsel, to remind us of truth, and to even intercede on our behalf when words won’t come.  Something better IS coming.

The other morning in Barre, even as I did Developpé, held my leg in Arabesque and then in Attitude, as I Turned Out and then Pliéd, I had joy. Anytime I was inwardly tempted to groan, God’s Spirit reminded me of the passage of scripture I had read that morning.  My mind would quickly drift to the thought of the hope I have of seeing God’s glory in its fullness. In that moment, there seemed no need to groan, and I would keep moving.  Someday, I will complete the final phase of my adoption into God’s royal family.  I will be gloriously freed from the struggle and suffering of this life due to sin.  I will experience life in intimate relationship with God as He originally created it to be. Now that’s something to really hope for.