My son recently came home and spent a Sunday afternoon with us. We grabbed dinner from his favorite local Mexican restaurant and enjoyed the football game on TV.
I decided to make pumpkin bread, partially to spoil him, and partially to have something for our small group that evening. I mixed up the batter, poured it into the loaf pans, and then set the oven to bake.
My son and sweet Pastor husband continued to enjoy the game while I went into my craft room to make birthday cards. After a while, my son came and asked about the humming sound. I quickly identified the sound as the fan on our stove. In that moment, I learned our stove fan hums at a particular pitch that gives my son a headache.
A Grumbling Hum
When we grumble and complain, we create a disturbing hum like the fan on our stove. At times, we block out the hum and aren’t bothered by the sound. Other times, we only hear grumbling and complaining all the time like a bad headache that won’t end.
Not too long ago, I wrote in my journal, “grumbling blocks out my ability to hear God. I can only hear myself and it fills my mind with the wrong thing.” I want to believe grumbling is similar to venting. I whine a bit, get it out of my system, and then I can move forward. However, when I complain, I create a disturbance that distracts me from managing life well.
Hebrew Definitions
The Hebrew people had several words we translate complain or grumble. I discovered each definition consistently details the idea of dealing with an emotional conflict. After that, I struggled with deciphering the subtle nuances between each definition.
One Hebrew word deals specifically with lamenting and expressing grief. Another Hebrew word is used exclusively with respect to the grumbling of the Israelites in the wilderness. That particular word expresses an “unsubstantiated, stubborn, critical protest against someone.” And yet another word refers to disputes between parties due to differences in perspective that involve intense struggle.
Acceptable Complaint
When we read the Psalms, we learn honest complaints toward God in certain contexts is acceptable. In 1 Samuel 1:16, we read how Hannah prayed out of her great anguish. The word translated “pray” is a word that means complain. Therefore, we must be able to bring complaints to God without a complaining attitude. I find three truths in scripture that will help us learn to bring our complaints to God in an acceptable manner.
1. God Listens
First, I want to remind all of us, God willingly listens to our complaints. We don’t need to hide our fears, pain, or frustrations from God.
“I complain and groan morning, noon, and night, and [God] hears my voice.”
Psalm 55:17, CSB
“I cry aloud to the LORD; I plead aloud to the LORD for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; I reveal my trouble to him.”
We must recognize there is a difference between complaining about God and complaining to God. One writer in the Handbook of Bible Prayers says, “Our complaints should not be about God, but to God… when we complain to others we are really saying, ‘God you don’t know what you are doing.’”
I know I have felt God has been unfair at various times in my life. I didn’t like the path He chose for me and those I love. And yet, God is more than fair; He is absolutely just. Personally, I don’t like to admit I don’t deserve anything. We must all recognize the truth that everything we have God provides because of His grace toward us.
2. Deal with Complaints Positively
Second, we must deal with our complaints in a positive manner. In Genesis 21:25 we read Abraham complained to Abimelech about a well of water. Abimelech’s servants had seized Abraham’s well, so Abraham went directly to Abimelech. He didn’t whine to God or Sarah or anyone else about the unfairness of the circumstance. He managed the problem appropriately.
In Acts 19, we read a story about Gaius and Aristarchus, Paul’s traveling companions from Macedonia. A local silversmith was upset with Paul and his friends for persuading people that handmade gods weren’t gods at all. He enraged the crowd and Paul’s friends were in grave danger. The mayor of Ephesus finally quieted the crowd with the assurance that Paul’s friends had done nothing wrong, but that Demitrius and the other craftsmen could make formal charges in the courts if they felt it was necessary.
We all live within a chain of command. For example, at work, you have a manager or boss. In your neighborhood, you have the police and possibly an HOA council. Within our families, we have some sort of system enabling us to deal with differences appropriately. In addition, we all have the Word of God to guide us in how to manage conflict.
If we encounter a difficult situation, God will listen to our concerns. If we believe God is directing us to take an additional step, we must choose is to deal with the situation in a positive and appropriate manner. As followers of Christ, we must treat others respectfully and kindly, even when we believe we have been treated unfairly.
3. Ending Complaints More than an Act of One’s Will
Finally, we don’t choose not to complain simply by an act of our will. We are unable to set our mind and then continuously follow through without ever complaining.
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.”
No matter how many times we tell ourselves we won’t grumble about a certain circumstance, we continue to battle our sinful nature and the urge to whine and complain. We can only overcome the habit of complaining by relying on the Spirit of God. Look at the last sentence from Galatians 5. We tend to complain when we are focused completely on ourselves, or we are envious of what someone else gets to do, or owns, or gets away with.
As we center our lives on obedience to Jesus, releasing control of our thoughts and emotions to Christ, His Spirit teaches and guides us. The Spirit leads us to consider others and speak with the same great love and compassion He has given to us through salvation. We learn to see life through the lens of grace He has given to us. His Spirit in us compels us to treat others with that same grace.
Flip the Switch
With the power of God’s Holy Spirit, we can flip the switch, so we aren’t focused on what leads us to grumble and complain. Instead, we choose to direct our gaze on the goodness and grace of God, not our circumstance. God’s Spirit in us enables us to be people who don’t whine about the situations we encounter.
When life is difficult, we take our grief, pain, and complaints to God. He will listen. In addition, the Holy Spirit will empower us to deal with our circumstance wisely and appropriately while forming the character of Christ in us. As we live out the fruit of His Spirit in our lives, we will generate a pleasant hum declaring the glory of God.
