Five Ways We Deceive Ourselves and How to Overcome

My sweet Pastor husband is practical and financially wise. I, on the other hand, am wide-eyed wonder over acquiring things that are new.  He never said I had to go with the battery option; he fully allowed me to make the choice. However, I wallowed in obligation to choose the grown-up approach.  I wanted what I wanted, and that selfish attitude led to me think life wasn’t fair.  Ever been there? 

How Do We Deceive Ourselves?

Thinking life isn’t fair is one of the ways we deceive ourselves. Several years I ago when I read James 1, verse 16 jumped out to me like a flashing neon sign. 

“Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters.”

James 1:16 CSB

Almost as if I had been jolted with a cattle prod (and no, I don’t literally know what that feels like…) I was grabbed with the truth: I can be deceived. 

None of us wants to readily admit we can be deceived.  We talk about people who’ve been scammed online, or over the phone, in disbelief.  We quietly judge others who fall into habits we think are beneath us.  We believe we are financially wise as we click “buy!” (again) because it’s on sale. We congratulate ourselves for eating healthy as we munch on too many tortilla chips and queso with our taco salad. We pat ourselves on the back as we tuck ourselves into bed at 10 pm so that we get the rest we need, and then settle back against the pillows to scroll through social media.

Wisdom Found in James 1:1-18

James gives us great wisdom in the first 18 verses of his letter. We often read through the passage and create a list of appropriate Christian behavior.  Too often we also generate an ideal Satan uses to deceive us. 

FIVE WAYS WE DECEIVE OURSELVES

1. Mature Christians are happy Christians even when experiencing trials.

How many of us read James 1:3 as “Always be happy even though life is hard”? Scripture states,

“Consider it a great joy… whenever you experience various trials.”

James 1:3 CSB

We get tripped up on the word joy.  My Pastor husband defines joy as “a deep settled confidence that a loving Heavenly Father is in control of all the details of my life.” There are moments when that deep settled confidence overflows into an expression of happiness.  Other times, we feel quiet peace and assurance more than a blissful exuberance.  We can be sad, frustrated, disappointed, or discouraged AND know the joy that God is with us and in control of our circumstance. We experience feelings, we do not need to be defined nor dictated by them.  

2. We just need to push through tough times.

Have you ever given yourself a pep talk like this: “Just hang in there. Things can’t get much worse. You are almost through this.  God’s going to make it all better.”  Our concept of endurance is the picture of a cat hanging on the end of a knotted rope.

Tough circumstances in life uncover where we need spiritual growth. Growth is hard but purposeful. Just like we take a class or go to school to earn a certificate or a degree, endurance has a goal. We become mature in Christ, completely convinced that with Jesus, nothing is impossible and there is nothing else we need.

3. This trial is God’s fault.

We read James 1:17 and we claim it with every ounce we are. 

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

James 1:17 CSB

We eagerly anticipate the good gift God will give. Somehow, we interpret this verse to mean we get a prize if we hang on through the trial.  We know God wants to bless us, the Old Testament is filled with passages where God has blessed, is blessing, or is planning to bless His people. We desperately want in on the gift bonanza! But just like toddlers and teenagers scream at their parents when things don’t go as they plan, we yell at God, selfishly telling ourselves this circumstance is His fault.  After all, He could give us a great gift right now and make this situation go away! We doubt the goodness and the wisdom of God Almighty.

4. If God doesn’t do what I ask for in prayer, I must be a double-minded doubter.

The Scripture doesn’t say anything like this.  First, James is specifically referring to asking for wisdom in verse 5.  James never says that if we don’t doubt, God will give us whatever we want.  Second, James is reminding us that our faith is to be in God alone, not in God plus what we can do, or God plus what the doctors can do, or God plus the support of all your friends…  Our loyalty cannot be divided. God is the answer to our dilemma; His wisdom will teach and enable us to endure. 

5. Life is supposed to be fair, or at least easier.

Many of us as believers cling to certain Scriptures when life is too much.  

• Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37)
• God works everything together for our good (Romans 8:28)
• God will lift you up at the right time (1 Peter 5:6,7)
• Don’t worry about your life, God sees you as valuable (Matthew 6:25-34)

These Scriptures speak truth and, sadly, believers twist these precious promises because they fear God is not going to come through in the way they desire.  I have found myself saying I know that nothing is impossible with God, I just don’t think He will do the impossible for me. We begin to rationalize that we must be a mess of trouble if the current scenario is for our “good.” We worry that God hasn’t lifted us up because we still haven’t learned the right lesson.  We toy with the idea that perhaps we are going to be another Job and God is going to take away everything before it gets any better.  We forget James 1:12,

“Blessed is the one who endures trials, because when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.”

James 1:12 CSB

Life isn’t about ease, trials will come, and God is planning our eternity with Him.

We Need to Replace Lies with Truth

In Second Corinthians 10 we read

“We demolish arguments and every proud thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ.”

2 Corinthians 10:4b & 5 CSB

We need to take control over what we think, and what we allow our minds to dwell on. In her book Get Out of Your Head, Jennie Allen says,

“Taking every thought captive is not about what happens to us.  It’s about choosing to believe that God is with us, is for us, and loves us even when all hell comes against us.”¹

Jennie Allen, Get out of your head

Replacing the lies Satan uses to deceive us with truth helps us keep our thoughts captivated with Christ. 

Replace the Five Lies with These Five Truths

Trials Will Still Come

God really is on our side.

“He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word.  And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.”

James 1:18 NLT

Hallelujah. 

¹Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts, (Colorado Springs: WaterBrook, 2020), 63