Two Simple Steps to Manage a Mad Mix of Emotions

Note: Today’s blog is based on this year’s Mother’s Day sermon. You can access the sermon here https://www.ontariofirst.org/archived-worship-services

When your children are infants and toddlers, life is physically exhausting. You are up in the middle of the night, and there isn’t much of a break in the middle of the day. As they grow you get a bit more sleep, but you become more mentally and emotionally exhausted. When you morph into the teenage years, you take away sleep again.

There are so many emotions wrapped up in being a parent. Love and joy obviously, pride, delight, and wonder. Then there is frustration, anger, disappointment, hurt feelings, confusion, doubt, second-guessing and regret. Interestingly enough, all the negative emotions are experienced while still feeling love, joy, pride, delight, and wonder.

I recently read Mark 9:14-29 and imagined all the possible emotions in the story. All those feelings correlated with the emotions I associated with being a parent.

A Mad Mix of Emotions

Before the story begins, Jesus, Peter, James, and John are on the mountain experiencing the Transfiguration. In the story that begins in Mark 9:14, Jesus and the boys have come down from the mountain to find a crowd arguing with the other disciples. A father had brought his demon-possessed son to the disciples for healing, but they were unable to free the boy from the demon.

When I first read the passage, my empathy kicked in for the disciples. If I had been them, I would’ve struggled with my self-confidence. First, they got left behind, they weren’t invited on the little side Jesus adventure that Peter, James, and John got to go on. Perhaps I have a big case of FOMO, but I would’ve been wondering why I didn’t get to go.

Second, they were unable to help the demon-possessed boy. My mind would’ve been telling me I was less than. I would’ve been tempted to buy into the lies that if Peter, James, or John had been around, they could’ve helped the father and his son.

Third, people in the crowd were arguing with them. I imagine the crowd was yelling instructions on how to do what the father had asked the disciples to do. My assumption is the disciples felt criticized and insulted.

Parenting’s Mad Mix

That’s how I often felt about parenting. It was a job I felt was beyond me. I thought I should know what to do, but so many times it just wasn’t working like I thought it should. I imagine the disciples felt like failures, just like I did many days once our kids were in bed. I was convinced others were watching me and criticizing me, even if I couldn’t hear them.

I also identified with the father of the demon-possessed child. He just wanted healing for his son, a better life, freedom, normalcy, and joy. Parents want these things in big ways when they think of their children’s futures and in little everyday ways when they experience their child’s hurt feelings from failing or when a friend, significant adult or other family member mistreats them. This father was desperate for help and that so describes parenting, doesn’t it?

Jesus Steps into Our Mad Mix

Not all of you reading this are parents, and all of us have those things in our lives that give us a mad mix of emotions. You try to do what you know to do, but it feels as if you are spinning your wheels. Jesus gives three truths of hope in this story that help us deal with our mad mix of emotions.

Truth #1: Jesus has power that goes beyond what we can do or handle.

Jesus healed the boy; Jesus did what the disciples were unable to accomplish.

Whatever circumstance or issue we are struggling with, whatever is causing our mad mix of emotions, we can only do the best we can do. I don’t necessarily want to raise children at 58 years of age; it could kill me. And… I have a better understanding of myself, a deeper grasp of who God is, and a more grounded faith than I did when my children were in our home. I tell myself often, I did the best I could with what I knew, and with what was in my toolbox. Now I must trust God to accomplish in my children’s lives what I could not.

The great grace in this truth, Jesus can do what we can’t, is that Jesus’ power is available to us because His Spirit dwells within us. This leads us to the second truth of hope.

Truth #2: We access Christ’s power through belief.

We say we believe these things, but I know there are days when I don’t believe all that is true about God. There are days I believe I know what’s best. There are days I don’t believe that Jesus is enough to keep me content and satisfied, I want this item or that; when my children were at home, I wanted them to behave this way or that to keep me feeling happy. There are days I believe my actions are justifiable when I am really acting selfishly and not from a heart of gratitude to a God who gave His all for me.

It begs the question: In your mad mix of emotions, do you believe Jesus is enough?

Truth #3:  We must Build our Relationship with God through the Habit of Prayer

At the end of the story, the disciples get Jesus alone and they want some answers. They wanted to know what they were doing wrong. We’ve all been there.

Jesus’ simple statement in verse 29 is powerful. “This kind can come out by nothing but prayer.” For Christ’s power to be in our lives we must begin with belief, and from there we build a relationship with God so that we can tap into all the power He has available for us. The impossible, the hard things, become possible through the habit of building our relationship with God through prayer, conversing with the King.

Jesus is talking about more than prayer before bed, or grace at meals, or the lists we tend to create of all the different ways we want God to move. The Apostle Paul talked about praying continuously, and on all occasions. We are to have an ongoing conversation with God, and this conversation is not one-sided.

As with any conversation, it goes back and forth; we talk and share, we listen and learn. We seek to understand what God is saying to us. We can ask questions. We enjoy the time spent together and the relationship that is growing deeper. We unburden ourselves and seek His point of view. We delight in the person we are discovering God to be, the answer to our struggles, our source of strength and wisdom, and our hope. That’s conversing with God, that’s the habit of prayer that builds relationship with Him.

Breathe. Release.

In His wisdom and grace to me, God simplified these three truths in a way I could easily remember and could live out when my mad mix of emotions were out of control. The Holy Spirit challenged me to Breathe, and then Release. Breathe in God and then release the mad mix of emotions.

Breathe in God; breathe in His Spirit. In other words, think about His character traits and focus on the truth that He loves you deeply. Concentrate on the truth that He is creator and sustainer of all things. Remember how He has provided for you repeatedly. Breathe in His love, grace, and peace.

Release. Let go of your fear; how you want to control a situation or person; your anger and frustration; your expectations, disappointment, and anxiety.

Living With God

In John Ortberg’ s book Soul Keeping, he states, “The ‘with God’ life is not a life of more religious activities or devotions or trying to be good. It is a life of inner peace and contentment for your soul with the maker and manager of the universe.”

Christ has His power available to you. He doesn’t want you to live in a mad mix of emotions, He wants you to live in hope. Jesus says, “Believe.” Then, He wants you to invest in a relationship with Him through praying -conversing- with Him continuously. He wants you to Breathe and Release.

And on days, when that still seems too overwhelming, He offers us grace just like he did the father of the demon possessed boy when the father declared, “I believe, help my unbelief.”

Once more: Breathe. Release. Breathe in His Spirit and know He is God Almighty. Release what you are holding far too tightly and live in hope.

Girl Kissing Mother Photo by Magdalena Smolnicka on Unsplash